Look who came to visit the ranch house!!

Wow! 2016 is off to an exciting beginning

  • My new online coach mentoring program launches on February 17th. Go to CoachDeep.com to learn more or contact me directly CHFcoach@me.com.
  • I’ve taken over posting my CHF Thoughts… thus I missed my January deadline as I learned how to manipulate all of this.

On to my Thoughts for February:

_Lynx snow We have a motion camera positioned on a post off the patio at the ranch. This past weekend I was browsing through about a hundred photos from October through January. (I won’t wait that long again!) There were many visits from deer, Ange (our pup), and shots of Rich and me as we entered or exited the house. Kinda boring… until mid-January when this guy appeared! Of course I Googled Lynx having only seen one “live” in my life. Yesterday, I got out my Animal-Speak book and read more. Here are some things I discovered:

  • This is a Lynx, possibly of the Canadian variety. Bobcats are more common in the SW part of the US but they are redder, spotted, and don’t care so much for snow. This guy has big feet (to walk on the snow) and loves to eat snowshoe hares, who flourish up in the high mountains of Colorado.
  • Ok, ok… why am I writing about him in this newsletter? Animal-Speak has some interesting thoughts about what it means when he pays a visit, something you might find interesting to ponder.

Lynx awayThe Lynx is about Secrets and Vision of the Hidden and Unknown. The suggestion is to look for that which is hidden and to trust your instincts as the things you imagine are probably more accurate than you think. He has the ability to teach you how to know the inner workings of others… see what others may be hiding from themselves and others such as fears, activities and even abilities. 

As I pondered what I read, I thought how the Lynx could support all of me (you?) in being more coach-like. A coach listens and feels more than what the client is saying. The coach learns to connect more deeply with the other person. This supports the client in discovering what he really desires to express and/or do. Many times it is a surprise. So, in every interaction with others, I can listen with more than my ears. Here are some ways that I offer for you to do the same:

  • Pay attention to what your body is sensing from another. What emotions are you beginning to experience? Maybe, just maybe, you are picking up on the emotions of the other person.
  • As you listen, ask yourself if the emotions that are coming up are yours. If the answer is no, ponder what these emotions are allowing you to understand about the other person.
  • An example: I remember some of my conversations with my son when he was a teenager. Jonathan would say, “but Mom, all the other kids are doing this. Why won’t you let me?” What he implied with his words was that he felt “this” was an okay thing to do. What I felt (when I listened deeply) was that he wanted my support, my strength to help him say NO. When I held to my conviction from my values, I felt his relief. On the other hand, when my conviction wasn’t that strong but I kept saying no, he sensed it… and just maybe he was right in that moment. Again, if I was listening deeply, I might pay more attention to my emotions as well as his and just maybe we could come to a compromise.

How might you use the gift of the Lynx and listen more deeply? Please share with me what you experience in paying attention to the inner workings of another. We all have the ability… if we practice.

Want to know more about how I use shifting energies in my coaching and in my life? Go to my website and read some of the articles and/or consider reading my book: 5 Life Energies: The Choice You Have in How Energy Shapes Your Life © 2009. It is available on Amazon.

 

The Hygge (“Hooga”) Danish Way

56-Woman in JoyI know you are busy with the holidays… so this will be brief. I want to share some ideas that could support us all in making it through the family/friend gatherings in this season. The ideas are from the Danish and I love them especially because I have Danish blood in my cells. As you know, I have an identical twin sister (we were triplets at birth) and the only other multiple birth relatives were triplets from Denmark long, long ago! (Go to the original article.) A dear friend and coaching colleague shared this with me (Prerna who lives in Hungry).

The rules that can make hygge work with your friends and family are as follows:

  1.  Come as you are: trust and be trusted that we desire connection, not to prove something.
  2. Forget the controversy: Especially in this political season (US and maybe others), leave the divisive or controversial topics out of your conversation.
  3. Think of yourself as a team member: Offer your help and support whenever and wherever… oh, and except “no” as an answer as well.
  4. See hygge as a shelter from the outside: No matter the group, this is not time for networking, social climbing and the like. This is a sacred place with no fear of judgment.
  5. Remember it is time limited: Suggest to family members and close friends that this is “just for tonight”. It is much easier to agree to these rules for “just a bit of time”. Maybe someday it can be for always… we can dream can’t we???!!

 Wishing you peace and joy for this holiday season and for 2016 as well!!
–Carol Harris-Fike

I would love for you to share your thoughts on staying centered in stressful times. Email me: CHFcoach@me.com

Find Your Length, Width & Depth

39-Looking up in TreesMy husband, Rich, had surgery this week and we are grateful that he is cancer free and recovering. We are also living with all the ups and downs of recovery.

 

I recently discovered another centering that is supporting me through this time of playing nurse, comforter, cheerleader, and sometimes boss to Rich… oh yeah, and coaching as well….

 

This centering is to be done with eyes open. Amanda Blake suggests that you practice this over and over so you can center while in the midst of whatever… very helpful for me today!

  1.  Find your Length. This is your Dignity and Worth. – Stand tall but not reaching into arrogance nor collapsing into not good enough.
  2. Find your Width. This is your Connection as well as your Boundaries. It allows for balance with self and others.  -Lean slightly side to side and find that balanced place.
  3. Find your Depth. -Your Back is your Strength from your past experiences, history and more.Your Front is your Vision… your new Creation… all in the state of becoming.
  4. Feel your Dignity, Connection, and Vision and from that place fill your Length, Width, and Depth with your Care. Feel what you are here for and fill your body with that Care.
  5. Again, feel your Dignity, Connection, and Vision, and from that place fill your Length, Width, and Depth with your Mystery. Allow the unknown and Spirit to fill you.

Amanda Blake offers a 7-day Stress to Serenity Challenge which slowly develops this centering practice to what I have shared here. 

Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm, and harmony. –Thomas Merton

 

 

I would love for you to share your thoughts on staying centered in stressful times. Email me: CHFcoach@me.com

Want to know more about how I use shifting energies in my coaching and in my life? Go to my website and read some of the articles and/or consider reading my book: 5 Life Energies: The Choice You Have in How Energy Shapes Your Life © 2009. It is available at www.5LifeEnergies.com or on http://www.Amazon.com.

 

Yikes! I’m stuck!!

IMG_2175My sister was installing drawers in our guest room last week. After screwing the rack to the wall, I wanted to help determine why the top drawer wouldn’t close all the way. We pulled the drawer all the way out and I squeezed into the side of the closet, we put the drawer back in… it stuck… and I couldn’t get it back out. I was stuck! Lots of jokes were made about me spending the night in the closet… ha ha!?

Needless to say as I’m writing this at my desk… we worked it out after awhile. But what do you do when you get stuck?

 Here are some steps that I take from my coaching… see what you think:

  1. Accept and allow the emotions to be just as they come. For me it was a bit of fear as I can be claustrophobic and it was a very small space.
  2. Declare what you are experiencing and allow yourself and others to support you. When my husband and brother-in-law heard my cry for help, they began making jokes. In this case, I laughed… which allowed me to shift to a lighter emotion.
  3. Allow the shift in emotions to happen… recognize it and feel what comes next. It was “relief” and the relaxing into the humor in the absurdity of it all
  4. Consider alternatives to “fix” the situation… be creative. I considered laying down to go under the drawer and scramble out and the “buts” came. I had to squeeze my body (stomach) to get in the corner… so how could I ever get out by squatting and crawling under?? The jokes kept coming. Humor allowed me to get really curious and to prove the others that I could get out. Humor moved me into a more flexible frame of mind… which allowed an idea of being more flexible with my body. I finally was able to lean way back into the corner of the closet and get under the drawer feet first… thank goodness… I got free!

Of course, there are many places in life where we get truly stuck and may not see the humor. And, I know these steps will serve no matter how difficult it seems at the time. Ignoring… avoiding… and not allowing the emotions to flow through and then shift do not serve. Becoming curious, seeing the “box” we are in allows us to think and feel “out of the box” and find a solution.

 But there was a difference in being stuck and choosing to stay.
–Unknown

I would love for you to share your thoughts on stuckness. Email me: CHFcoach@me.com

Want to know more about how I use shifting energies in my coaching and in my life? Go to my website and read some of the articles and/or consider reading my book: 5 Life Energies: The Choice You Have in How Energy Shapes Your Life © 2009. It

It’s Not All About Me… Really!!??, September 2012

40-QueenLast May I set an intention that I would take action more from my authentic self than from the “character” I hide behind. Well, no surprise, the Universe has risen to the occasion and brought me several experiences to challenge that intention. (I wrote about learning to be vulnerable a couple of months ago, as one example.) For 21 days I paid close attention to what my body was telling me and the emotions it disposed me to during those days. What I discovered is that I spend entirely too much time (my assessment) in assessing what others are assessing about me. Oh my! (If you aren’t familiar with the term “assessments” substitute judgments or assumptions.)

My question all summer is: How can I stop this action and replace it with another? My authentic self knows it doesn’t need the approval of others and it knows I am enough… good enough… have enough… serve enough.

Okay, that is one belief that serves and if I can call on that belief when I start my assessing, it will serve to let that critical voice go. But, uhhh, I have made the “assessing of what others assess of me” a practice for a lot of years. So, yes, I agree, it will take me awhile to form a new habit. Declarations will help… I wrote about how declarations can serve us back in January. Mine is: For the sake of living in my authentic self I am letting go of judgmental thoughts as they enter my consciousness. I was discussing my dilemma with a coach friend and he asked me what I did in my meditation practice when thoughts came in. I shared I just let them go. Well, duh, could it be that easy? I’m working on it…

I remember after my divorce in 1999, that I was sharing with a counselor about how I always analyzed what men were thinking about me as they took the actions they did. He said a surprising thing: It’s not about you; it’s all about them. In other words, most men in my life… or those who would be in my life… were not taking actions with me because of a judgment they had about me; they took actions because of what they felt or thought… maybe even what they thought I was assessing about them. (It could drive one crazy trying to figure this out!!??)

My lesson is that every time I think someone is making an assessment about me… the truth is that person may not even be thinking about me (much less judging me) as they are much more likely to be thinking about themselves in relationship to me or someone else.

So, as of now, I’m adding a declaration that I know will serve: For the sake of living in my authentic self I am remembering it is all about each of us. (Definitely not just all about me!!

I would love to know about your experiences or questions. If you would like to share, please email me: Carol@YourLifeFromHere.com.

“We are feeling creatures that think, versus thinking creatures that feel.” – Jill Bolte Taylor